Friday, January 2, 2009

Legends

[WARNING: massive geekery ahead]

Among my few goals during this break was to drag out the dusty Nintendo 64 and finally finish playing through The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask after all these years.



After a few hours of playing I sort of remember why I never finished it: it’s one hell of a stressful game. Majora’s Mask is one of the most admirable mainstream video games I can think of, and one that I’ve always had a hard time rationalizing as a genuinely great piece of gamecraft. The fucked up thing about it is that its biggest flaws are also its most original qualities, and they are necessary in order for its greatest achievements to occur. But before I get into that I should provide some context as to why this 8-year-old toy is important:
(Click "Read More" to... read more.)


Every guy around my age remembers Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Even if you were a Playstation kid, it was an event. It was unlike anything we’d ever seen before. Actually, that’s not true: it was very much like the old Zelda games—maybe even less complex and difficult than the previous one, A Link to the Past for the Super NES—but flawlessly transmuted to 3D. It was amazing—to this day I’ve yet to see a video game as perfect an exercise in interactive narrative. It sold all the copies; it won all the awards. ’98 was a pretty landmark year for the industry, and Ocarina dominated most of the dialogue. (I never actually even bought the original cart; I just played through the game—more than once—at a friend’s house when it came out, though I’ve since owned one or two of its several re-releases.)

So when Majora’s Mask came out in the fall of 2000, it was rightfully a big deal. And while it’s undoubtedly less well regarded than its predecessor, it received pretty fair acclaim. But its conception (and reception) highlights a sometimes-illusory perception of the nature of innovation in this medium.
The Legend of Zelda is such a venerated and important franchise that the pressure to innovate or satisfy expectations is greater than in most other cases, more so even than with the Halos or Grand Theft Autos of the world, I’d argue. Nintendo has been successful on this charge to varying degrees, sometimes with wildly unexpected results. After the first Zelda came out and blew the collective mind of the industry, Nintendo decided they would take a creative U-Turn, and thus we have Zelda II: Adventure of Link, a bizarre, very difficult action-RPG hybrid. (I like to think it’s this kind of forward, fearless thinking that earned Nintendo the clout to make their current hit games about losing weight and waving plastic sticks around.) Zelda II has since settled comfortably into its modern position as a kind of beloved black sheep, a late-blooming cult classic, and it wouldn’t be for another couple generations that they would tamper with the formula again. The pressure is such that it is tested even before people get their hands on a new game: when we gathered ‘round to watch the unveiling of the first Zelda game for the Gamecube, a couple years after Majora’s Mask, we were ready to be blown away by some bad-ass, hyper-real Lord of the Rings-esque shit akin to what we’d seen as a Gamecube tech demo:


Instead they gave us some weird cartoon bullshit:



People were pretty pissed. “The Legend of Cel-da” was one of the biggest controversies of the year, but the fuss all turned out to be for naught; the eventual product, The Wind Waker, is one of the most beautiful games ever made, and not an unusual Zelda game in any regard other than its visuals. But the post-script to this story is the next game in the series, Twilight Princess. This, Nintendo seemed to insist, was the one the fans had been waiting for, the souped-up, grown-up heir to the throne of Ocarina. And, well… it was. Twilight Princess is near perfect, but the problem, I guess, is that it was exactly what everyone hoped it would be. There was very little to be surprised by; this was the epic, grown-up (so to speak; the game was just as silly easy as Wind Waker) experience that the fans had been waiting for. Don’t get me wrong: Twilight Princess was an incredible game, one of the most amazing ever made. But when I finished it (in three weeks, somehow—that was a long one) I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was missing something, some spark of joyful experimentation—the very ideals of exploration and discovery that are the series’ foundational hallmarks.

Which brings me back to Majora’s Mask.

It was originally referred to as "Zelda Gaiden," a kind of sequel/side-story to Ocarina, and the sentiment holds up. The gist of the game is that young Link has been transported to Termina, a world in an alternate universe of his home of Hyrule. Termina is very similar to Hyrule, but one unique, important issue facing this place is that it’s fucked: the moon is falling, and in three days (two hours or so in real time) everybody is going to die. The story, while less gravely epic and way weirder than past games in the series, serves the same function as any: to encourage the player to go explore the world, kill monsters, collect some magic doodads and save everyone. The key difference here is that they’ve instilled a sense of urgency in the player by including an underlying time limit in which he must complete his task. This idea is, from a conceptual standpoint, a stroke of genius, the solution to the problem of how to enhance the player’s engagement with the story and his suspension of disbelief. But in an expansive, exploratory genre like this, it generally doesn’t work by itself: giving the player a finite amount of time in which to complete the entirety of the adventure is pretty intolerable, a type of pressure that few developers have the balls to impose on their eventual customer. (This is not to say that some haven’t tried: Nintendo’s own Pikmin for the Gamecube tasked the player to complete the game in 30 short in-game days, a requirement so arbitrary and unfair that I stopped playing what was otherwise shaping up to be a beautiful and fascinating game after the first level. And I understand Xbox 360 players had a similar experience with Capcom’s Dead Rising, a zombie game that forced players to restart from the beginning if they missed certain time-sensitive events.)

The solution to this, of course, was to introduce a mechanic that allowed the player to rewind back to the start of the three-day period, and this was no problem; Zelda had all kinds of time-travel shit it could whip out of the bag o’ tricks. They didn’t even have to come up with a new magic song for you to play! And so the basic mechanic was set: do what you have to do, then turn back time to delay the destruction of the world. And save your game.
This mechanic is what I refer to when I mention the game’s simultaneously genius and maddening construction. Making it so that you can rewind time in no way removes the frustration of a time limit entirely. You’re still undoing virtually everything you’ve done in the world, apart from a few things that are inexplicably saved—you know, so that you’ve made some progress.

What this also does, however, is allow the developers to give the game’s world a very specific and cohesive routine that you have to observe and interact with in order to progress. This mechanic affords Majora’s Mask an amazingly cool Groundhog Day sort of element in its overall structure, and the player, repeating the same three days again and again, must refer to this structure to solve many of the game’s major puzzles. (One elaborate side-quest forces you to follow complex interconnecting routines so that you can influence the events and actions of several townspeople over the three-day period—very Groundhog Day.) The result is that the puzzles and quests of Majora’s Mask are far more ornate and satisfying than those of the other games. But it also makes them more stressful, which often makes you not want to bother. As I said, it’s fucked up.

The reality is this: we say we want innovation; we want experimentation; we want new ways of looking at things and experiencing entertainment. But how much of that is just an attempt to accrue liberal cred? At some point, we just want to sit back and let the screen suck us in, as opposed to actively engaging ourselves in the world it depicts. This dichotomy is well expressed in Zelda games: they’re not especially diverse, but the diversity that is present in the series conveys the vast nature of interactive entertainment very clearly; maybe this is why the series is such a vanguard of the medium. Or why it used to be, at least.
I thought I liked Majora’s Mask more than I maybe do, and maybe I liked it for different reasons besides its polarizing time mechanic: its diversity of gameplay, or the whimsical, insouciant weirdness and melancholy darkness of its story. But I think when I finish it I’m going to replay The Wind Waker, the Zelda game of which I am most fond. I remember Wind Waker to be not much more than a series of gorgeous, exciting set pieces, an interactive animated adventure whose beauty and originality are wholly and unapologetically aesthetic. I remember that game being very light-hearted, very soothing, and none too stressful. Cool stuff just happens to you. Would that it were like real life.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Guess Which One Has The Most Views

I was going to write a long blog today, but I still don't have anything interesting to talk about, so I'll just say Merry Christmas to my Christian friends, and in the spirit of giving here are some educational videos for you to enjoy today.



Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Lonely

I guess I should do another blog post purely out of discipline, but I don’t really have anything to write about. I’ve been home for about five days now and I’ve barely left the house. I kind of suspected it would be like this—this will be the first time I’ll spend more than a few days in the new house, in this random town that I don't know. Living just far enough away from my old friends, and not being able to drive, I can’t expect them to come up to visit all the time, so I haven’t been able to initiate any hanging out. Maybe I’ll see them eventually, I don’t know. I just worry I’m starting to go stir crazy; I’m already getting tired of the daily routine: sleep till 3, read, play video games, watch Star Trek until 4 A.M., etc. I’m kind of ready to go back to school, to be honest.

Friday, December 19, 2008

A Time of Darkness

I saw this video on the New Yorker music guy’s blog, where he exalts its mind-searing cheese:


I guess this is the kind of thing super erudite magazine critics find hilarious. Is it because it reaches some heretofore-untapped realm of quadruple-post-ironic cultural vitality? Who knows. Personally I found it only mildly amusing, but I guess my non-smarty-pants average joe perception of entertainment works differently. Frankly I always thought—as far as viral video gold standards go—you can’t do much better than the clip of that local news chick eating shit on some grapes.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Irreconcilable Nexus of Apathy

Where do callousness and therapy meet in the joyful anarchy of horndog antics? How do we reveal facets of our true persona in our methods of exuberant tomfoolery?

One of my housemates mentioned this evening how he had received an unexpectedly cordial, near-apologetic Facebook message from a girl he met at a party last Friday, who he did not particularly expect to hang out with or even see again. He wondered if he should reply. Another housemate had a novel suggestion of how to respond to this heartfelt, courteous token of friendship and gratitude: “Tell her you love her.”

It’s surprising how infectious callousness can be, especially when expressed in the agreeable mode of irreverent humor. While I’ve come to expect this brand of insensitive jocularity from the jesting housemate, I was surprised by my own quickness to join in:

“Send her one of those automated spam messages,” he proposed.

“Yeah,” I added, “like ‘cum check out my hot pix’ or ‘CLICK HERE FOR KEWL APPS’ or something.”

We laughed like hyenas.

Why do we joke like this? This weird mix of irony, self-satisfaction and genuine misogynist aggression seems emblematic of our generation, of our societal class in some way. Is it a catharsis we’re looking for—an outlet for our socio-sexual frustration? Or am I over-thinking it? Are we really sophisticated enough creatures to separate our desire for a laugh and our animal instinct toward social self-preservation?

Tomorrow on HFC: LOLCATS!

Monday, December 15, 2008

We, Sleyan

Originally the header of this blog simply read "... at America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College." Then I remembered that we didn't quite snatch that esteemed title, at least in the self-satisfied jack-off blogosphere, and I thought I'd shift some words around in the interest of titular accuracy.

But honestly, is it too late to call BS on that classic battle royal? I can't speak to the annoyosity of Sarah Lawrence, but I lived a stone's throw away from Wesleyan for about 10 years and something in my gut tells me that in a hard-science comparison of their laid-back hipster milieu with Hampshire's unrelenting barrage of hyper-affected otherness, we'd KO those motherfuckers back to the midwest/their West Hartford McMansions. (That's kind of random but those just seem like plausible locations for Wesleyan students to originate from: a place where most people don't give a shit about wacky social progressivism, or a place where most people are numb wastrels.)

I guess I never garnered an intimate knowledge of the University even though I got to know a few students but, apart from some weak, derivative "keep Wesleyan weird" campaign that sprouted up a few years back, it was a pretty insular community. I suppose the only back-up I have for my argument is that I have complete confidence in every way that it is not possible for a place to be more continually irritating than Hampshire College.

Which brings me to the mission statement/raison d'etre of this whole blog: I fucking love this place.

More to come, my pretties....

Confederates